When it comes to dating, there are few things more painful, confusing, and altogether soul-crushing than being ghosted. Everything can seem totally fine, and then, suddenly, it's over. The texts stop coming, the hangouts completely dwindle, and you’re forced to furiously rack your brain to figure out what might have gone wrong.
INSIDER spoke with relationship expert and sex educator Logan Levkoff about the best ways to move on after the object of your affection pulls a disappearing act. And, no, none of these suggestions include watching every season of "Friends" on Netflix and eating all the ice cream in your freezer.
Figure out if you’ve actually been ghosted.
So the person you've been seeing hasn't gotten in touch for a few days and you're starting to feel hardcore waves of panic. Before you write the relationship off altogether, check back in with them over text. You'll be able to tell a lot from their response.
"There's a difference between someone replying, 'Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I totally spaced out. Let's get together' versus 'Oh yeah. Hey. What's going on?'" Levkoff told INSIDER.
Even if you do end up getting that vague text, at least you know where you stand.
Plus, you should give yourself lots of applause for putting yourself out there and trying.
Examine the relationship honestly.
It can be extremely difficult to be objective about your relationship — especially if you're dealing with all those icky, post-ghosted feelings. Do your very best to take a step back.
"I think there's a reality check that needs to take place," Levkoff said. "If most of your interactions are by text or maybe hooking up late at night once every other week, is that really a relationship? Is it really a substantial thing? Are we asking someone for a little bit too much?"
In the end, it might not be the worst thing if your casual romance peters out. Just think about all those lackluster conversations you guys had when kissing wasn't involved.
Ghosting says far more about the ghoster, than the ghostee.
Getting rejected is the pits. Your ego is crushed and your self-esteem can completely plummet. Instead of beating yourself up, though, try and turn your attention around to your ghoster: is this really the type of person you want to depend on and date?
"If a person falls off the face of the earth, they're probably not someone you'd really care to spend more time with,” Levkoff told INSIDER. "They didn't even have enough integrity to say, 'Listen, this was fun but I don't think it's going anywhere and I hope you're okay with that.'"
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